Hello, my name is Helen Boyle, I am a local wife and mum who lives in Castlefields, Runcorn and I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). I was socially isolated, struggling with my diagnosis, with no professional help. I was really in a dark place for most of my life, and completely at my lowest eb, for me to realise that unless I helped myself (I was dwindling away on NHS waiting lists to see professional who simply do not exist)! No one else could.
It was up to me to make sense of the fear that was consuming me. The pain, shame, anger. I never understood what BPD really was or PTSD; why would I? I had not been to war!
“St Patricks Day Saturday 17th March 2012 – Catalyst”
It was a total shock to my system, with the death of my dad. He literally waited for me to arrive, then died in my arms.
Grief, as brutal as that was, gave me the strength I needed to start, to make changes I had needed to make for a very long time, in order to be able to feel better in myself and my struggles with my mental health.
I grew up in a home born 1970. My entire life I grew up with DVA (domestic violence abuse) in the home. It was my lifestyle. I was born into this environment, from the womb! I never knew anything other than this. My parents’ marriage remained until my dad died, 53 years in total, their marriage was an institution, my dad the head of the family who I loved dearly, yet never really understood.
That is BPD in a nutshell, it is not me having alter egos or illusions, talking to myself (which I thought it was by the way). It is the effects of being brought up in a home where I witnessed violence and abuse regularly. I am the product if you would like to say, the youngest child who was reared on full alert.
Its these layers of lived experience that I unfortunately have accumulated over time, that have steered me almost in founding Persona Insight. The mask of putting on a brave face was gone; I am a survivor.